The process of letting go

Although I have tried to not judge others in my life. I realize that there is a time to have opinions of a person's character. This is judging them on their behavior and how they treat others. You can be poor, rich, middle eastern, Asian, happy, sad, religious, atheist, and I will not think less of you for these things. (At least I try very hard not to, and am self aware when I do, I certainly would not dislike you as a person.) Behavior is something you can control (unless you are mentally ill, then you need professional help)and I expect the people I let into my life to carry themselves to a certain standard in this world.

Recent events have made me look carefully at my friends, my family, those that I have let share a part of my life, that I have taken into my heart- scrutinizing why they are there. If I respect these people. If I want to be like these people. Because, mom is right, you will become who your friends are. Do I want to be like these people? Someone them, YES, I aspire to be like them. I respect them and even acknowledging their faults, I hold them in high esteem. Others.....why? Oh Why are they still in my life? They are like a cancer, and not benign. In the next few weeks I will be doing a very difficult thing and letting those people who I don't want in my life go. In the age of Facebook it doesn't make it easy to do. Defriending someone is like a big f you. Plus, don't even the people you don't care for deserve some explanation of why you feel it necessary to not have them in your life? These are people, thankfully, that are on the peripheral of my life. Unfortunately, some of those people are family members. It is not hate thing...I don't think...the thought of them does make me physically ill....not angry, but ill....haven't figured that out yet. How to do this with class is the issue. I'm sure that writing a blog about it lack class. So I am already failing in that department. So maybe not class, but to be honest without hurting someone. IS that even possible? They say the truth hurts, and it can. However, I would want to know why someone doesn't want me in their life. It is like a break-up. If you just stop answering the phone there is not closure. You are left wondering if they are just busy or are they not that into me. Everyone deserves an explanation. *Deep breath* I pride myself on my honesty, now it is actually time to prove to myself that I am an honest person. My mom was always good about diplomacy. I got her honesty, but lack her tact. Maybe it is time to call mom for some advice.