A little catch up.

 
I was first diagnosed with a molar pregnancy the day after Thanksgiving 2008. They did a D/C the first week of December. My HCG levels were over one million at the time of the D&C. The healthcare team and Group Death Group Health thought that everything would be fine as long as they removed the mole. (which is clumps of placenta with no baby). They were wrong. They were really, really wrong. They continued to monitor my HCG though blood screening and it did not go down. The day after Christmas 2008 I get a call to see an oncologist. They did a CT scan, the molar pregnancy had changed to Gestational Trophlasatic Disease and was now back in my uterus 8inches in diameter, liver, and lungs.

No big deal, I was told. "This is highly treatable." With a shot of methorexate you should be cured in 7-16 weeks. I started the first Tuesday of January 2009- 21 weeks later, the methotrexate stopped working. Time for some bigger chemo. I had a PIC line installed in a very old school fashion way to pump the vein damaging drugs to my heart. The PIC lasted one week. My vein was too small and clamped down on it- the PIC was removed. For the rest of my treatments I was given these toxic chemicals right though my veins. Why did I not get a port? The reasoning was I had only one or two more rounds to go. Eight rounds later and four different treatments and more IV's than I can count I was finally in remission. The last day of that ordeal was Oct 23^rd. 2009. I did finally see a specialist Sept 2009. She was surprised that I had not had an MRI of my brain, as that is where this cancer likes to migrate. Thanks GHC. *sarcasm* If the cancer was in my brain none of the treatments I had been receiving would have even touched it. Thank god that MRI that came back was clean.

I was sick, lost my hair, mouth sores. It was not fun. But I made it and I thought it was done.

I was starting to live my life again. I had anxiety. Trouble around crowds, malls, people that rubbed me the wrong way, I had little tolerance for things that made me anxious. I slowly started to heal. I had beat cancer but I had some deep war wounds. Battle scars. The war that was waged had its casualties. Slowly I started to not worry so much about the cancer coming back, tried relaxing just a little, really getting backing into shape, cycling, swimming, playing with my family and….just when I took a good exhale, my blood labs came back. 5 HCG. Okay I told myself don't get too worked up. But they kept rising each week. Another 5…a 7….an 8…..

I made a request for a specialist at SCCA and started some CT scans. Hello Liver.

That is where you are hiding. So far it seems like GHC will allow me and pay for a specialist to treat me. That I feel better about. I had my Port installed on Friday Aug 6th at 8am and it is a bit sore.

I started chemo Friday also, I am more tired than I remember being last time. More nauseous, and the nausea medication makes me sleepy. The steroids make me cranky, and hungry all the time, and gives me lovely acne. I am vain enough to care that my skin changes to a teenagers – and not in a good way. I am going to work though this chemotherapy also. Only taking the days off I need to do the chemo. I actually really like my chosen profession most days. My employer is a bit cranky this time around about me being gone (all 3 days)…but really, what is she going to do. Not as if I am going to Jamaica.

Over all, my biggest worry is my son. He is more upset than the other kids, and possibly even Gary. He wanted that brother so badly. But no babies are in my future again. After this is all over they will do a full hysterectomy in hopes that this disease will leave me forever. Leaving me to raise my wonderful son. Jonah hates that I will go bald again, but was such a good sport that he dyed his hair blue with me.

This chemotherapy is already making me tired, and unfocused, nauseated. I am quick to temper when I am like this and trying to keep an even head. Patience. I lack patience. My whole family lacks patience.




What we don't lack though is humor. Jonah posing in my wig. 



Laughter is the best medicine. So more blue hair and wigs.