The process of letting go

Although I have tried to not judge others in my life. I realize that there is a time to have opinions of a person's character. This is judging them on their behavior and how they treat others. You can be poor, rich, middle eastern, Asian, happy, sad, religious, atheist, and I will not think less of you for these things. (At least I try very hard not to, and am self aware when I do, I certainly would not dislike you as a person.) Behavior is something you can control (unless you are mentally ill, then you need professional help)and I expect the people I let into my life to carry themselves to a certain standard in this world.

Recent events have made me look carefully at my friends, my family, those that I have let share a part of my life, that I have taken into my heart- scrutinizing why they are there. If I respect these people. If I want to be like these people. Because, mom is right, you will become who your friends are. Do I want to be like these people? Someone them, YES, I aspire to be like them. I respect them and even acknowledging their faults, I hold them in high esteem. Others.....why? Oh Why are they still in my life? They are like a cancer, and not benign. In the next few weeks I will be doing a very difficult thing and letting those people who I don't want in my life go. In the age of Facebook it doesn't make it easy to do. Defriending someone is like a big f you. Plus, don't even the people you don't care for deserve some explanation of why you feel it necessary to not have them in your life? These are people, thankfully, that are on the peripheral of my life. Unfortunately, some of those people are family members. It is not hate thing...I don't think...the thought of them does make me physically ill....not angry, but ill....haven't figured that out yet. How to do this with class is the issue. I'm sure that writing a blog about it lack class. So I am already failing in that department. So maybe not class, but to be honest without hurting someone. IS that even possible? They say the truth hurts, and it can. However, I would want to know why someone doesn't want me in their life. It is like a break-up. If you just stop answering the phone there is not closure. You are left wondering if they are just busy or are they not that into me. Everyone deserves an explanation. *Deep breath* I pride myself on my honesty, now it is actually time to prove to myself that I am an honest person. My mom was always good about diplomacy. I got her honesty, but lack her tact. Maybe it is time to call mom for some advice.

Making the world a more loving place

I went in the other day for a blood draw (everything on the cancer front is still thumbs up) and I got to see my favorite phlebotomist. She told me she is retiring in a few weeks and that her and her husband are moving to a lake house they just purchased. I told her congratulations and that will be great to live on a lake since she is a kayaker. She was surprised that I remembered such a detail about her life. It made her happy that I cared enough to remember. That got me thinking....how often do we treat people like people and not objects? How often do we stop thinking about ourselves long enough to think of people as fellow humans?

The people ahead of us in line at the grocery store, or the car in front of us that is going insanely slow and has had their turn signal on the past 3 miles we see as obstacles to us getting somewhere. That last one is the hardest for me. We see them as people we would rather not interact with. Try to smile at people, talk to people that you wouldn't normally interact with. Help people you don't know. Practice patience. (of course do this with people you do know also). There is no point being rude to the telemarketer that interrupted your dinner. You can be pleasant and tell still tell them no. They are just doing their job. Be happy that it not your job!

If you want the world to be a friendlier place, start being friendlier. A smile may change someones day. If you see a person often, like the cashier at the store, chat, share, smile, and remember them. Nothing makes someone feel more important then you remembering a small detail about them. Don't ignore people, even if they make you uncomfortable.

I am going to work on my road rage. Not really rage though, more of a constant annoyed state while I am driving. The person who cuts me off, or driving 20 in a 40, or or or..... I am not changing reality by being annoyed. I am just causing myself stress. Instead of being irritated and dropping the f-bomb,(constantly) I am going to make a real effort to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they are in an unfamiliar area of the city. Perhaps they just had a fight with their spouse, or rushing to see a family member in the hospital. Etc. Also, I am going to smile more. It helps me and the rest of the world.

make the world better by food food glorious food

It is Costco shopping time of the month.

I like to know what I need and it helps me to not over buy when I clean out my fridge, freezer and take stock of what is in my pantry before hand. I usually try to take a quick glance at my food stores every week before I go grocery shopping, but as I discovered I have not been faithful about this. I am disappointed in myself. I loathe throwing food out. I understand not only the monetary value of the food, but also the resources that have gone into getting it to my house. As I cleaned out the expired salad dressings and slimey peppers from the back of the fridge and was scrubbing the drawers and shelves I told myself that I will not let this happen again. It had been a long time since I had to throw food out and I got lazy with checking.

My fridge is now clean and organized, as well as my freezer. I have the frozen food stacked by expiration date as I will use the ones that will expire sooner first. (thankfuly nothing in my freezer needed to be chucked)My shopping trip to Costco was successful. They had my favorite bars there again (Mrs. Maya's Trio Bars)

Goal: Make the world a better place by not overbuying and underusing the food that I have purchased. How? By being attentive and organized and appreciative.

Be the change....

Wanting to change the world.
All of us want to change the world is some way or another. The frustrating thing is how do we live our lives in harmony with our convictions?
Over the next few weeks, months, years and for the rest of my life I am going to strive to make a difference. Even if that difference is one person. One person matters.

I will use my blog to share my experiences (challenges, triumphs, and frustrations) with you and to keep myself honest about what I am doing and why.

I have already made many personal lifestyle choices over the past year. One is I became a vegetarian last summer. *insert gasps here* I have had a great dislike about eating something that was once a living being for as long as I can remember. Some life that was slaughtered for my consumption and sometimes went bad in the back of the fridge and I had to throw out. My parents became vegetarian a few years back for health reasons for my father. (My father is on no medication now, has more energy and lost 20 needed pounds, so don’t argue the against the health benefits of this life style to me- read “the China Study”). My cousin Nickey became vegan last year. It was my cousin who inspired me to try to be a vegetarian and my little sister, who was my cheer leader (sister eats meat, but big fan of mine). I gave myself a 3 week challenge do to at my sisters encouragement. Did great! After reading the book “Eating Animals” and the torture and abuse our food, these living creatures endure while living, not to mention while dying, made me decide that this was my life style choice, for life. To bring my life in harmony with my convictions.

Cons to Vegetarian Lifestyle :
Haters.
There are those that have poked fun at me and made points over and over that THEY EAT MEAT that IT IS HEALTHY. At every family gathering a certain unname person, has made a point to say to another family member, “you like meat too? Oh me too? I love meat.” Or to my Dh “YOU are still eating meat, right?” (this is not to find out what to bring either, this is to make a point to me when he has turkey on his plate)or "not eating meat is unhealthy" (I really don't want to get into a food discussion at a family dinner and be the downer on their choices. Why does this family member want to do that? (any advice on how to deal with this is welcomed) I have had friends give me grief about it also. My FB post saying “I cut my finger while making my vegetarian chili and that it isn’t vegetarian anymore because it may have a bit of me in it”, ( yes I can laugh at myself) will get responses from “LOL” to “ I think meat is great. Why don’t you eat meat, it is good for you. God wants us to eat meat.” OR fb status “going to Seattles Vegfest” response “YUK”. I mean really? Besides being a bit rude, what do you have against fruits and veggies. Don’t’ worry though people, momma didn’t raise a quiet girl that shuts up and takes it.

Pros to Vegetarian Lifestyle:
Not killing animals.
Finding out who is really supportive in your life choices. My dh after a bit of an adjustment is very supportive as is my friend Julie, even my coworkers at my place of employment. These are the people in my life who don't have the same views as me. My sister, Natalie, is always giving me new vegan recipes to try. Of course those in my life that are already vegan/vegetarian are happy I have chose this path. Those that seem to be against my life style (that does not harm to others), I have to realize that it probably makes them uncomfortable and perhaps a bit guilty. I realize that I cannot be consumed with their issues and I just fall back on the old “haters are gonna hate.” I do not look down on those that consume animal flesh, it is their personal choice. I do believe that if more people allowed themselves to be educated about the treatment of animals there would be more vegetarians in the world or at least more people cutting down on meat consumed. (but I do tend to think the best of people) Also, the cutting out of unhealthy meat is a BIG plus.

Yes I still salivate when I smell bacon. That hasn’t changed. I still eat dairy, eggs, and other animal products- I’m a work in progress. It is a daily choice. It has to be. It is too big of step not to be chosen each morning. I don’t strive for perfection; I am striving for a better world. Perfection is not an option.

Other change that I have made is in my cleaning products. I have switched most of my products to earth friendly ones, can I just say I LOVE 7th Generation and baking soda is amazing. Even shampoos, body washes, etc. I have been switching out for enviro friendly ones. I still have yet to find a makeup though. Like I said, perfection is impossible to attain and I do the best I can each day. That being said, any recommendations on a makeup would be much appreciated. I still want to look pretty while living my values.

I will be looking for other ways to make a difference, even if it is a small one. The biggest impact I could make is small lifelong changes that I stick to. If I inspire others= even better for the world.

Up next: Community. Volunteering for my son’s schools PTA. They say they need people, I am there.

I never finished blogging my Gratitude Challege...opps

That doesnt' mean I am not grateful. I am so happy to have the life I do. I appreciate coming home to a messy, chaotic house because I would hate to come home to nothing. If the mess and the stress is what is payment for a wonderful healthy family, I will gladly pay that.

This the Big Holidays over and the New Years just days away I am excited for the new adventures 2012 will bring. The house is slowly getting back to it's pre-Holiday state, I am finally getting over being sick for 2 months...darn cold season gave me Whooping Cough, at least that is what the Doctor said, and I am ready to start my Resolutions.

Day 9- Gratitude Challenge

"Enjoy the people around you. Take a moment to appreciate their unique talents, abilities and personalities"

I spend much of my time at work and mostly in the company of 3 amazing women. The all are very unique.

Tara, you have a no nonsense attitude at work, (and that is good because someone has got to!) Outside of work you are the life of the party. You love your social life out of the office and in the office. If you take charge of a social event I KNOW it is going to be a great time!

Misty, you and I are always laughing at something, good or bad, we are laughing. Some of the time in tears we are laughing so hard. If I need help with something at work, I go to you.

Lori, you are fun and bubbly. Your compassion for people is sincere and heart warming. You are a doer, a goer, and I love it!!!

Day 8 Gratitude Challenge.

*opps I didnt post it Monday-it went to draft- opps*

I haven't been great about doing this daily. Most weekends are spent away from the computer and home, and well....I am also forgetful with computer stuff.
I am getting them all done, although not daily. The 21 days of gratitude will take me 42 days.

Today's challenge is to "send thank you notes to five people who deserve a little recognition"

I have so many people that I could thank in my life, but here are just a few that come to mind when I think of my day today.
Warning: one of these could be you and you are going to ruin your card surprise if you read any further.


1.)Julie, you are an incredible friend. You always seem to show up when I need you. I don't even have to ask. I love you and I am so happy that you have come back into my life from childhood friendship. You know who I was, who I am, and believe in who I can be. I can't ask for a better friend.

2.) Brent, You are a great friend and I know that I can count on you if I need you. I know that I could call you if needed and you would be there. You aren't only Gary's friend you are my friend too. Thank you for being such a great and dependable friend.

3.)Colleen, You are an amazing caring woman. You are a great friend and I am so happy that I get to work with you. I love to chat with you whenever we can and catch up on life. I feel that you truly care about me and other people. Thank you for being a calm in the middle of the storm.

4.) Mom and dad, I could never say thank you enough for being great parents. You taught me to have high ideals, and gave me good self esteem. I always felt loved by you and that I was important. One of the best compliments someone can give me is "you are just like your mother." You are also awesome grandparents to all your grand kids, I know that Jonah feel like he is a special kid to you and that you love him. Love you mom!

5.) Doctor Cabellaro, thank you for removing my port today. You were fantastic. I was nervous and your bedside manner was fantastic. You talked with me during the procedure and even let me get my picture taken with the Port once it was removed and I was stitched up. Thank you.